5 ways of conquering your stage fright! (For speech events)

Y u so nervous Brian??? Stage fright is one of the worst nightmares that all introverts would have to face! I can easily say that it is one of the most irrational yet common fears which every newbie will encounter. It is irrational because if you goof up during performance in front of your audience, it’s not like that the audience are armed with weapons and they are going out to chuck out grenade or try to kill you! The worst case scenario will be that the audience might chuck rotten tomatoes at you that too if you say something stupid and insensitive during speech or debate.(like saying using racial slurs is cool or by making poor jokes on recent hurricane or natural disasters.) Then if we all fit into the category of decent folks why do we still feel anxiety, heavy breathing and fast heartbeats before the beginning of the performance? You would be giving either speech or might be performing a song or a dance, yet why do we feel butterflies in our stomach before our debut?  The answer is quiet simple because we think if something goes wrong, you might feel like a village idiot as the audience might laugh at your mistakes. But the worst thing we fear is that how our classmates will treat us after such embarrassing performance and what stupid nick name (which might stick to you rest of your life) might your classmates come up with exclusively for you.  For most of the parents, they might think it is a silly excuse for not participating in debate or speech but only the kids really know the first hand experience they face in school. So many of us still want to get rid of fears and shine like a bright star. I will focus on how I overcame my stage fright and how I managed to give speech smoothly without any nervous breakdown!

  • Find a reason for why you must give speech and how it benefits you.

I was introvert by nature, which means that I particularly do not fall into the category of most of my classmates who used to make a lot of noise by banging the benches, shouting profanities at each other, making fun of teacher behind and by forming a big gang during free hours. Put it in simple words, I am not a member of their pack, which of course due to which I used to attract a lot of hostility from them. Since I am a quiet guy, who does not enjoy what they do, they used to call me sissy or coward. They used to make fun of me whenever they can. Since I do not take part in any other activities, they used to call me a rote learning machine and used to mock me. They used to think that I am not ‘smart’ and I will not be able to excel in extra-curricular activities. So I decided to give speech just to prove how wrong they can be! So during 8th grade I decided to take part in elocution competition. I did not have any prior experience of even standing in front of audience, let alone giving about the speech. Still I decided to give it, so that I could show those idiots what I am capable of! When I saw on my facebook wall that one of my friend had awarded me with the ‘Best Idiot Award’ in my wall, I had enough and took part.

  • Take the road less travelled by!

We know that giving out speech is more ‘formal’ with ‘positive’ and ‘balanced’ view of a topic.  One of my topic was, “Does social media have more pros than cons”, then I realized maybe I could use the ‘idiot award’ example to both make my speech more unique and at the same time have my sweet revenge my possible giving out live example which might terrify my class mate who conferred me the ‘title’. This will be by unique selling point of speech. And always feel free to experiment on how the speech should be delivered and it should stand out from the rest of the competitors.  In this case, I used my real life example to tickle audience so that I could attract their attention! I have chosen an unorthodox method of presenting speech. Remember that the audience might get tired by listening to many participants and by the time your turn comes up, half of them might be on the verge on sleep! Always start the speech by cracking a joke, and you could also give out your real life example. There are two benefits, not only the audience might listen to you carefully, but by making the atmosphere light hearted they will more likely to take your stutter or any silly mistakes positively! Or you could try out any style of you like which should stand out from the rest of your competitors. And yes during my first speech, my legs indeed wobbled (but the podium covered it thankfully!) and I was able to give speech nicely.

  • Practise!

Once you prepare your draft, understand the content carefully and don’t memorise it. The more you memorise, the more you likely to forget! Divide your speech into many events and just memorize the sequence of events! It should not be necessarily word to word. Once you know the gist, you could present it to the audience just like a normal conversation! And remember to practise in front of mirror, and always observe your vocal pitch as well as your speed of your voice.

  • Get set and go!

Before giving out speech, I took out deep breadths, observed how the previous students gave their speech. I observed how they walked confidently into stage, their walking style, their composure along with how they started salutations. I noticed that most of the participants who managed to give good speeches did not carry out notes to read. They delivered speech as if they are having a normal conversation. When it was my turn, I got up, took shortest route to podium, walked slowly and carefully and I did not carried any notes! I always have problem of looking into people’s eyes and communicating. So I imagined all my audience as the vegetables in the garden! This really helped me a lot, and I was able to deliver the speech completely with few breakdowns! By using this imagination, this will relax you and give confidence to deliver your speech. Or other way is to make eye contact with your friends or teachers you trust. By making such eye contact, they will most likely give you a nod of encouragement which will make you feel more confident. In the end I did managed to put my friend in tight spot by saying, “ Facebook also have few cons, like for example last week I got the best idiot award from my classmate…” with my eyes focusing on the culprit at that moment and the some of the audience members laughed, which made my day! So even if I didn’t win any award, I got empowered as I know that I could deliver speech without any breakdowns!

  • Keep on taking part and never lose touch!

I knew that getting rid of stage fright completely cannot be achieved by just giving one speech. So I started taking part in elocution every year, and during my 12th grade I took part in student council so that I could hone my communication skills. And I got top post in the council (in the first go!) which gave me the opportunity for more public speaking events and slowly I lost fear and now I can give speech without any preparation!

So dedication along with determination can indeed conquer your own setbacks!

THE LIFE OF SOCIAL MEDIA BUTTERFLY:

Y, do u do this social media!

Y, do u do this social media!

Over the hills and over the lanes,

Through States, Asia and Spain,

Butterflies flutter all the way,

Along with their smart phones and tablets all the day.

These butterflies are very one of a kind,

Young and old, mostly young maggots,

With their heads always bent on the illuminating screen,

And walks always as if they were zombies.

There is no person to person interaction,

Only from screen to screen,

Or through calls to calls,

These bumbling fools always have an alter ego,

Because they have internet to shield their sorry identity.

In real life most of them are quite and are not outspoken,

But in their virtual worlds, they are one of the finest Keyboard Knights,

Their bravery which can always outrival Arthur’s round table of Knights.

Cause their sorry existence is not known in the virtual world

These one of a kind fools are keen to make new friends in facebook,

But they don’t care to make friends in real life,

They don’t bat an eye when they lose a friend in real life,

But when they see that someone had unfriended them on FB,

They lose their minds and become crestfallen!

Most of them click and upload selfies very quickly,

Faster than the rate of mosquitoes breeding in a swamp,

They always try to fish facebook likes and comments through poses like;

Duck face, monkey face, donkey face or whatever,

Cause they know that they are 1000 times uglier than ducks or any other animals.

Just like satellites, they are interested in spreading gossip through social media,

Always are keen to deliver the latest breaking news like,

Talking how does the next door neighbour’s daughter lost her Iphone-6,

Or how the group of friends  punctured their professor’s car because he gave them too much homework,

And how their mom’s ,uncle’s, sister’s,son’s,nieghbour’s aunt’s maid eloped with her new boyfriend,

So on and on, to fish facebook likes and comments,

As they feel their lives are boring (which indeed is) and other’s lives are interesting.

These young bumbling buffoons do have any special traits,

Yet they want their own band of followers,

Great people have their own followers for the contribution which they did to society

Like literature for Shakesphere,

Philosophy for Plato,

Bravery for Alexander the Great,

Business intellect for Ford,

These true stars have their own followers,

But these fame hungry youths want their own followers,

Without doing any meaningful contribution,

So off they seek refuge of Instagram and Twitter,

After many stupid poses and faces,

And after many weird dresses and places,

They gain more followers on Instagram,

Who are equally stupid and moronic than them.

After many ‘I luv abc boyband!!” to many hashtags,

And after many stolen quotations and so called ‘latest updates’

They gain more twitter followers than the air bubbles in the bubble wrap.

They spend day and night on their devices,

Jumping and getting excited as soon as they see new notifications,

These youths just like butterflies, they live a short lives,

Because they do not really understand the true meaning of lives.

New Era, New Species and New Abilities!

Funny, but true.

Ten years before mobile phone was just like four leaved clover. Very rare and few! It was that time when few of the privileged used to posses such novel equipment.  At that time people used to text very rarely as it was expensive back then and people only use it when they go outside. And people back them used to flaunt them.  Status symbol baby!

But nowadays phones are so common that if you don’t have one, people definitely find will look at you as if you are not wearing any clothes! From waking up in the morning till the nightfall, people are always attached to phone as some sort of super magnet. Most of the unique species, especially youths are so glued to their mobile phone that, if you take phone away from them they will exactly act like fish without water. These unique species had made phone a vital part of their human body. They are physically as well as mentally different from rest of the folks thanks to the constant exposure to the mobile phones. Some of the physical abilities which are unique to these species are:

  • Flexible neck: Whether its texting their buddies at whatsapp or by playing games for hours, these species have developed a neck so unique that they don’t feel pain at all even when are bending their neck hours together. Talk about the superhuman elastic neck. Of course some of them end up getting neck braes.
  • Less sleeping time: These addicts have the ability to sleep less than the average folks thanks to the mobile. Whether its texting your friend late at night or whether your are playing or browsing, using phone even at the middle of the night had altered the biological clock of these unique super mutants. Of course being nocturnal phone addict are worst susceptible monday blues.
  • Super Strong wrist! (…or maybe not): Mobile junkies claimed to experience pain in their wrist due to constant texting (duh). But some addicts will also defend, “Even during exercise you get pain!” Since I am feeling pain, and that’s because my wrist is getting exercised, it is good. They even justify by using the below equation:

Exercise=good………………………………Eq 1

Exercise=pain………………………………Eq 2

Texting= pain……………………………….Eq3

From Eq 2 & Eq3

Texting=Exercise……………….Eq4

         So by equating equation 1 and 4, we get:

Texting= good!

Hence proved!

Looks legit, although most of these knuckleheads don’t know that the pain caused during exercise are short term and it is only for first timers. And what do you expect from those species, who have not found time to do exercise. Their ignorance should be excused as they are busybodies and they don’t like to be disturbed!

  • Numb thumbs: Want to “feel nothing”? These species have achieved it. By constant texting and by playing candy crush saga nonstop, some of them reported of discovering a newly developed super power, which are numb fingers! One guy even lost complete response of his thumb by breaking his tendons thanks to candy crush! Surely the numbness of the body can make you “feel nothing”

And some of their unique mental abilities are as follows:

  • Poker face: They might have just texted “lol” in response to their friend’s joke in whatsapp, but their face does not show any expression. Literally they don’t show any expression! They expressionless face can even put a human psychologist in a tight spot when if we ask psychologist to interpret the emotions of these unique species.
  • Flexible face muscles: Whether it is duck face/sparrow face or monkey face or donkey face, these species can manipulate their facial muscles to optimize maximum likes when they post photos on instagram or facebook. And some of they take hundred such photos to cherry pick the best ones and even they don’t get tired! Of course these species who are mostly average idiots can only get a golden chance of having celebrity status by gaining followers in instagam. So they evolve and adapt their faces to be top in social network chain.

Note: – Staying “top “in social network means only in virtual world. Otherwise don’t get surprised to see that in reality they all suck in basic social skills.

  • High tolerance to stupidity:

These people are master clowns of their kind. Whether they are posing for selfies in front of the running trains or from the edge of the cliff, whether they are posing selfies in front of concentration camps or in front of their deceased relatives smiling and then typing “feeling sad”, whether they are posing by sitting on a fragile ancient statue at the museum (and ending the thousand years of rich history by breaking those relics in a matter of seconds), or by annoying waiters in restaurants by making them to change garnishes of their food to make it “instagram worthy” dish (and yet not eating it), these morons are one of a kind.

  • Leadership skills:

These highly influential creatures pump thousands of dollars into the virtual reality so that they could become kings/queens in their own mighty virtual kingdom. Whether it is clash of clans or age of warring empires, these unique species create their own clan or alliances, crush nasty enemies or belittle other users who are playing the game for free and live in a world of fantasy where they feel they are the best! And to be in top, they ‘invest’ in their virtual realms by converting their real money into the virtual money into virtual resources so that they could remain top in the server chain!  And then with the vast arsenal at disposal they lead other noobs to form a strong team! Of course later they will sell their accounts for half the price after getting bored and broke!

  • Professional Con artist skills!

Want to become famous and well known. Do you want people to respect your intelligence? Then show off your vocabulary skills by forming a whatsapp group and by sharing those unique words in the group. All you have to do is to copy and paste from the mobile dictionary and post it in group.  This is what I saw on a local train and not surprisingly, the group members praised the admin’s vocabulary knowledge in whatsapp!

So that’s how I conclude my verbal documentary of these unique species who are setting off to the endless cycle of stupidity and my being slave to the mobile phones.